of dreams and obsessions

I’m obsessed. And how do I cope with it? Actually, I don’t. I just let my obsession kill me slowly, and leave me hanging in despair.

There will come a time when you think you have the one and only solution to your problem. And you take it in your hands, hold it, feel its prowess, and grasp it. You never wanted it to let go. You can really feel its presence and you want it to stay with you forever. It’s like the world stopped spinning and you are the only person in that spatial and temporal moment, you are extremely happy with the source of your joy right there at your very hands. There’s too much rejoicing and gladness, and your heart is more than contented, you can never ask anything that would fill you ‘cause you’re already full to the brim. You’re not cold anymore, you’re taken cared of. It feels so comfortable and consoling. It’s like the warmest and most reassuring hug you’ve received in your entire life. And in the middle of that satisfying leap of transcendental bliss… Someone wakes you up…And so you realized that it was just a dream.

And now, you’re caught inside that dream, not wanting to let go even if it has abandoned you already. You try so hard to sleep and dream it one more time, even just to have a slight remake of that once-blissful moment but fate has not given you the chance to even have a glimpse of it.

Would you rather cry yourself to sleep praying to encounter it one more time, or walk in the lonely road of reality hoping it wouldn’t be so lonely, in consolation of the verity that there is no perfect and enduring happiness?